The Tech-y Tans

The Tan Family loved technology as much as any other family. Like any other family, they had Astro, owned handphones, and were regular users of the Internet. In fact, they could hardly imagine life without all these luxuries which they had now come to think of as basic necessities.

Mr Tan loved to tell people, “Call me Teck Kee Tan”. He insisted that his name had predestined him to be a trendsetter in the world of technology. In an effort to be true to his name, he got a new handphone every three months. He said it made him look “tech savvy” and besides, he liked the feel of technology beneath his fingers. What he didn’t tell people was that his utilisation of all these phones stopped at making and receiving calls.

Mrs Tan was much easier to please. She knew how to switch on the telly and the Astro and she was content with that. Anyway, she was much to be commended as she had mastered the use of all the kitchen appliances already and it was no mean feat for her.

Ah Girl and Ah Boy, as was typical of the ‘younger generation’, knew their way around technological gadgets. Their best friend was the computer. They sat in front of it during every spare moment of the day and were forever downloading things from the Internet. Mr Tan did not really approve of this and often tried to get them to buy what they wanted instead from pasar malam or those computer stalls in the heart of town. He supported buying original goods, as long as they were cheap, and the vendors had assured him that they sold original, only at a more affordable price.

One day, Mr Tan wanted to use the computer. The number on their postbox had dropped off in a storm the day before and Mr Tan wanted to replace it with a printed out number on a pretty piece of A4 card. It just so happened that the children were out attending their various tuition classes and weren’t around to help him.

Mr Tan said to himself, “Come on. You’re Teck Kee Tan. Of course you can do it!” With this encouragement, Mr Tan set to work figuring out how to use a computer. Suffice to say, he wasn’t very successful. Before he knew it, the computer had hung and Mr Tan didn’t know what to do. He whipped out his handphone and tried to call Mrs Tan… but thought the better of it. He wanted to call the children, but they were in the middle of classes.

So poor Mr Tan stared at the wall and chewed his nails and kicked his heels and twiddled his thumbs and watched the hour tick past. At long last, the shouts and screams of Ah Girl and Ah Boy heralded their return.

“Aiyo, why so like that one?!” was the chagrined groan of the children when they saw the computer. Ah Girl started to talk to the computer, trying to coax it into working. Ah Boy, however, was a man of few words. He put down his bag, rolled up his sleeves, and kicked the computer.

The screen flickered and the computer started working. Ah Boy dusted off his hands. Mr Tan gave a sigh of relief. Ah Girl sat down and printed out the number. Just as she finished, Mrs Tan called them for dinner which she had prepared with her new halogen cooker. Mr Tan, Ah Girl and Ah Boy whooped with delight and raced towards the dining room. And so another crisis was resolved and another day passed in the Tan Family. From that day forward, Mr Tan abided by a new philosophy: “If it doesn’t work, hit it.”