Perhaps, because opposites attract, Mr Tan was as fond of lizards as Mrs Tan was phobic about them. And so it was that when an invitation to the Annual Forum On House Lizards (By Invitation Only) came in the post, Mr Tan screamed for joy, because it was a prestigious honour to be invited; while Mrs Tan merely screamed, because the invitation card had a lifelike picture of a house lizard on it.
The NGO (Naturist's Gecko Organisation), which had organised the forum understood the need for family togetherness, and thus had designed a programme for the family as well. There was therefore no question about it. The Tans were to go to the Annual Forum On House Lizards (By Invitation Only).
The day of the forum dawned bright and sunny with bright blue skies and fluffy white clouds. It was a beautiful day in November. Mrs Tan sighed to think that she would have to spend it indoors talking about what she feared most. However, love was about sacrifice, and she did love her husband. The memory of his indescribable pride and joy on being chosen to attend the forum almost made up for her missing this day.
When they arrived at the venue, the forum was already in full swing. The exhibits were up, the breakfast was ready, and participants thronged the hall. Mr & Mrs Tan brought Ah Boy and Ah Girl to the Children's Activity Room and got them settled in. Then they went to the lecture rooms where the talks would be held. Mr Tan asked his wife over and over again whether she was sure she wouldn't rather join the spouse programme, but she was adamant that she would accompany him.
Renowned speakers from all over the world had been invited to this event. Mr Tan sat enraptured. He took pages and pages of notes with the free pen and notebook that he had received from the organisers. In the meantime, Mrs Tan surreptitiously pocketed all the sweets and slipped all the water in her bag, as well as all the pencils and notepaper. After all, if it's free…
After staring blankly at the speaker for a while, she reached for one of the pencils and a sheet of paper. Once upon a time, Mrs Tan had taken art lessons and had learnt the basics of drawing a face. Today, for the first time in a long time, she was inspired to draw. Surprisingly, the portrait turned out fairly well. She did a few more, and by the time it was lunch, she had captured the likeness of most of the speakers. As she sat back and observed her handiwork, she noticed that strangely, most of the speakers' faces resembled lizards.
Lunch was a buffet. Mr and Mrs Tan picked up the children from the Activity Room and went together to the dining hall. They piled their plates high with food and took a bowl of soup, a plate of salad, and a small plate of dessert, each. They sat at a table for eight because a smaller table would not hold their 12 plates and 4 bowls.
All through lunch, Ah Boy and Ah Girl chattered nineteen to the dozen. They told their parents all about the documentaries they had watched, the games they had played, the T-shirts they had printed and the plaster lizards they had painted. Mr Tan listened politely while Mrs Tan took no notice and concentrated hard on her food instead. Chew, chew, chew, and swallow. Chew, chew, chew, and swallow.
After lunch, the kids went back to the Activity Room and Mr and Mrs Tan returned to the lecture hall. Lo and behold, they had replenished the sweets! The sweets were Mentos this time. Full of glee, Mrs Tan quietly took out her half-filled box of Mentos dragees. She removed the sweets from their wrappers one by one and filled the box to the brim, then buttoned it neatly into her handbag pocket. It wasn't as if she didn't have enough sweets – she still had a large value pack that she had bought from the hypermarket 6 months ago – it was because she lived by her maxim of "if it's free, take more (even though you don't need it)".
As expected, everyone's eyelids were heavy after the sumptuous meal. Mrs Tan slapped herself to keep awake and looked around to see how many nodding heads she could count. One man caught her eye. He sat inconspicuously in a corner, his head drooping on his chest; his glasses slipping off his nose. Just as she started to draw him, the speaker said, "In summary…", and the man looked up. However, the speaker, instead of summarizing, droned on for another quarter of an hour during which the man fell asleep again.
Mrs Tan finished her sketch as the talk concluded. After a brief silence, somebody stood up to ask a question. To Mrs Tan's surprise, it was the man in the corner! She quite expected him to ask a stupid question that would show he wasn't paying attention, but a swift glance at her thoughtfully-nodding husband told her otherwise. She looked back, and began to giggle. The man's glasses had slipped off completely and hung just under his nose such that it seemed as if his nostrils were looking through the glasses. She whispered to Mr Tan, "I got one question… what is his nose looking at?" and then collapsed into giggles.
The forum ended and tea was served. Mrs Tan was still full from lunch, but the mouth-watering smell of pies and pastries was too much for her to resist. She took one of everything, and when Mr Tan went to pick up the children from the Activity Room, she held back and packed two of everything to take home in the spare Reader's Digest Magazine plastic that she always kept handy in her handbag.
A happy silence lay over the Tan Family as Mr Tan drove home at a leisurely pace of 60kmph to save petrol. They had all enjoyed themselves very much today. Mr Tan, needless to say had enjoyed talking about nothing but house lizards all day; Ah Boy and Ah Girl had had an extremely fun-filled day with lots of activities; and Mrs Tan... well, Mrs Tan never said 'no' to free food. Besides, she had indeed had a very entertaining day. For weeks after, she would say to Mr Tan, “I got one question… what is his nose looking at?” and then collapse into giggles all over again.
