One day, the Tans were invited to a wedding. They were very excited because weddings always meant food, and the Tans loved food. The wedding was to be held at a 5-star hotel in town and according to the invitation, was to start at 7.30pm sharp. Therefore, the Tans arrived at 8pm sharp.
They congratulated the parents of the bride, a distant cousin of Mr Tan, and handed in their angpow. They then headed straight to their allotted table, which was in the furthest corner of the room. This suited them to a 'T' as they could now concentrate on the 8-course dinner ahead without having to pretend that they were listening to the speeches.
At 8.30pm, the dinner started. The lights were dimmed and everyone was standing to attention. The opening bars of a familiar wedding song started to play, and the happy couple walked in arm-in-arm.
"Yay, going to can eat already!" said Ah Girl to her brother. Ah Boy clapped his hands gleefully.
As if taking his cue, everybody began to clap as well. The groom looked around, pleased by the applause, while the bride simpered and smiled.
When everyone had settled down, the waiters marched in armed with the first course. Mrs Tan's eyes shone with delight. She loved the first course the most, with it's jellyfish, baby octopi, prawn salad and fish paste things. And then it was time for the second course - szechuan soup (shark's fin soup was too environmentally unfriendly). This was Ah Girl's favourite. As soon as it was served, she took two bowls and tried to justify herself by telling her neighbour in a loud whisper, "I don't take chicken".
Chicken was served next. Ah Girl said to the table at large, "Ok lah, I just take one." It was just as well nobody heard her because she surreptitiously took two wings, leaving none for everyone else.
In the meantime, Mrs Tan was busy with her drumstick. She worked away at it happily while the others listened to a speech going on in the background. When she had eaten up all the flesh and the cartilage and even a bit of the bone marrow, she put the bone neatly by her teacup on the pristine white tablecloth. Then, finding a piece of tendon stuck in her teeth, she picked at it with her finger and spit it out noisily, where it landed right by the side of the drumstick bone. Mrs Tan wiped her fingers demurely on her napkin and sat back just in time to catch the end of the speech.
However, her interest was short-lived. Soon she began to get bored and thought up a little game to entertain herself. In the middle of the table was a small dish of sliced pickled chillis. She would wait till somebody started to turn the lazy susan, then she would reach out and snatch a piece so that the other person would have to stop and wait for her. By the time dessert arrived, she had transferred more than half the chilli onto her plate.
Finally, the wedding came to an end. The speeches, toasts, and cake-cutting were all over. The last thing on the agenda was the symbolic throwing of the bridal bouquet. The MC called all the bachelor girls to come forward to the stage. Ah Girl turned her nose up at Ah Boy and said, "Hah, girls only!" before prancing off towards the stage. Ah Boy pulled a monkey face and raced after her.
At the stage, the bride turned away from the crowd and threw her bouquet backwards. Dozens of slim fair hands reached out, each girl hoping to be the lucky one. The bouquet fell downwards in a graceful arc; the excitement increased... and then Ah Boy came charging from behind. He boosted himself up on his sister's shoulder and leaped high into the air, catching the flowers seconds before they fell into the bridesmaid's outstretched arms.
There was just a moment of silence before Ah Girl's enraged scream rent the air. "Ah BOOOYYY!" She chased after Ah Boy, but she was no match for him, clad as she was in those high-heeled slippers that little girls wear nowadays.
Mrs Tan jumped out of her chair and rushed to intercept them. Mr Tan sneaked out to the car park as quietly as possible. The MC, thinking quick, proposed another toast to the bride and groom to distract everybody.
By the time Mr Tan drove up to the lobby, the rest of the family were waiting for him. Mrs Tan had hold of Ah Boy and Ah Girl by the ears, and they stood a little behind a big, potted plant, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible.
As they drove home, Mrs Tan reflected over the night's events. Altogether she had had a fun time, the food was delicious, and she had even managed to quietly pack some away for lunch the next day in the Reader's Digest Magazine plastic that she kept tucked in her handbag at all times. Mrs Tan shut her eyes and smiled. It had been a fruitful night.
